Can Harry and Meghan tell a story and why shield Blue Ivy?
On Harry and Meghan's 'Polo' and my rationale for framing Blue Ivy's debut carpet they way I did
Dear Squawkers,
As Sarah mentioned in last week’s mailbag, we’re getting ready for some holiday downtime and the schedule both at LaineyGossip and here at The Squawk will be adjusted to allow for some rest and recovery because we have to slam right back into it the first weekend of January with the Golden Globes.
Tomorrow, Thursday 19 December, will be our last full day of posting at LaineyGossip – unless some majorrrrrrrr shit goes down. Define major shit? Taylor Swift gets married and announces her pregnancy at the same time. Angelina Jolie and Michael B Jordan go on a naked sleigh ride. Brad Pitt’s girlfriend dumps him in an Instagram live, for Glen Powell. BTS holds a surprise concert from a military base in South Korea. Jennifer Lopez posts a new video on YouTube: “Ben Affleck ghosted me – How I Survived 2024”. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson confirm the crazy: that they’ve been secretly married and raising children together for the last decade. Tom Cruise ziplines from the Hollywood sign and onto a motorbike, races to Malibu and proposes to Demi Moore. Harry Styles crashes Zendaya and Tom Holland’s Christmas party and tells Tom he’s the one. Unless it’s that level of chaos, LaineyGossip will be dark.
At The Squawk, Sarah and I are doing a live AMA tomorrow, Thursday 19 December, at 10pm ET. Please join us. The chats will remain open every day so that we can all check in on each other if we want to get away from our families. And this post here is our final newsletter of the year.
I’ll start with Polo. Jacek and I have now made it through four out of five episodes and, sorry to the Sussexes, but this is not a good show. It’s watchable, sure, but watchable on Netflix is kind of a low bar. The problem with Polo is what I was worried about when the trailer came out - there are no stakes. Through the first four episodes (and since there are only five, I’m assuming we’ve already been introduced to the players, or riders) the people we’re supposed to care about are:
-Timmy Dutta and his family
-Alfonso and Poroto Cambiaso
-Keko Magrini
-Louis Devaleix and his wife, Pamela
Timmy Dutta’s dad, Tim, owns the team. The setup here is that Tim is overbearing, puts too much pressure on his kid. But, like, ultimately what are we worried about? Timmy is not going to lose his job. It would be more interesting if Timmy actually leaves his dad’s team and plays for a rival but there is no suggestion of that whatsoever (this is me putting on a screenwriter’s hat and suggesting it in the writers’ room) – so there’s literally nothing riding on this, no stakes at play.
For me, the most interesting character in the Dutta family is Timmy’s mother, Tim’s wife, Susie. There’s a scene in which she makes the suggestion that he change positions on the team, and then doesn’t get credit for it. She ends up shrugging it off and we don’t pick at that thread so, again, there’s nowhere narratively for any member of this family to go.
Different but the same where the Cambiasos are concerned. Alfonso is a legend, he has sired potentially an even bigger legend. They play on different teams and the season has been building towards a showdown between father and son on the field for polo supremacy. OK but, like, they already told us that these are “sister” teams, they’re basically co-owned. So what does it fucking matter, really and truly, if either one wins or loses? The winning stays in the family…business. And family business is good. Any “tension” here is a stretch. The stakes are imaginary.
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