The 12 Months of Gossip

Highlights and lowlights of the year in Gossip 2023

(Photos: Nasser Berzane/ABACAPRESS.COM/ BeautifulSignatureIG/ Zak Hussein/ Shutterstock, Penguin Random House)

Dear Squawkers,

What I really wanted was for Jacek, or someone at Substack, to design an interactive gossip advent calendar for this week’s newsletter, with 24 boxes, and some of sort of digital wheel, asking users to click and spin, and the number you land on opens up one of 24 gossip highlights from the year that was. This seemed super complicated, so instead, we’re taking a quick ride through my highlights and lowlights from the last 12 months of gossip. And believe it or not, it wasn’t all just Taylor Swift.

(Admin note: This is a LONG post and may get truncated in your email. If it is for you, click ‘View entire message’ and you can view the rest in the app or visit thesquawk.substack.com)

January

It was Prince Harry who kicked off the 2023 year in gossip, coming out of the gate strong with the release of his book, Spare, which became the fastest-selling non-fiction book of all time – thanks, in part, to the tabloids because my GOD did they give him all the free publicity. Everything that needs to be said about Spare has been said, and everything that didn’t need to be said about Spare has also been said, so we don’t need to say anymore, but it is fitting that we’re starting a gossip year-in-review with Harry because one of my big takeaways from the book is that… he is a GOOD gossip. He takes note of the details, and details are what set good gossips apart from bad gossips. Details like lip gloss and outfits, the expression on people’s faces, the way they sound. If Harry’s book was like a live television show, like the Oscars, Harry could be in the control booth, making excellent cutaway choices. This isn’t a degree he would ever accept but Prince Harry has a PhD in gossip, he’s one of us.

Harry’s Spare came out on January 10, which was the same day as the Golden Globe Awards, hosted by Jerrod Carmichael. I know it seems like an eternity ago, but Jerrod fucking crushed it and in case you forgot, the timing of the Tom Cruise joke followed by the Top Guns, Jay Ellis and Glen Powell, coming out to present? Chef’s kiss.

Bonus points also to Regina Hall, because remember when she couldn’t stop laughing about Kevin Costner and people got mad at her? Regina knew better than everyone because look at what we spent most of the year saying about Kevin Costner after that.

A couple of weeks later and it was fashion week in Paris, dominated by not one but two members of BTS: j-hope and Jimin. Shortly after that, j-hope would begin mandatory military duty. Can’t believe it’s almost been a year and soon he’ll be ready to serve, in an entirely different way, yet again.

By the way, it was at Paris Fashion Week in January where, apparently, Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner first started.

February

The Grammys happened in February, but we do not acknowledge them. Yes, Beyoncé became the artist with the most wins in Grammy history, but RENAISSANCE did not win album of the year; it was Harry Styles’s Harry House instead.

Just… like… think about that album, RENAISSANCE. The musical sophistication, how layered it is, connecting the origins of house music and queer Black ballroom pioneers to R&B and pop and dance and gospel, a birthing and rebirthing of sound and culture that only she, the Queen of Culture, is capable of. And it’s not album of the year?