The New Wedding Standard
A wedding for all eras, one of the most elite weddings we’ve seen in decades, and the bride was born in 1989…but not the one you’re thinking of
Dear Squawkers,
Why are civilians so obsessed with celebrity weddings? In some cases, it’s for the gossip, obviously – who was there, who wasn’t invited, etc – and then there’s also the visual spectacle. We are all nosy bitches who want to see the details: the dress(es), the jewels, the hair and makeup. For some people who might have a floral kink, and I know there are a few of you in this community, it might be the centerpieces and the overall aesthetic of the event.
The curiosity common denominator and what makes it fun, at least in my opinion, is that we want to see what choices the rich and famous make with their money. The fun comes in when, even with all that money, their choices uphold the fact that wealth does not automatically guarantee good taste.
And, to be clear, before we get any deeper into the gush (you’ll understand in a moment), what we’re dealing with here in this conversation about celebrity weddings is obscene wealth, a baseline discourse understanding that all of the people namechecked in this post have access to the most, can afford the most, no one couple has an advantage over another couple. So we don’t need a disclaimer as we make our judgments, nobody has to feel offended by the comparisons and the competition (of course it’s competitive, they’re all here to show the fuck out) …
But, then again, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about it like it’s a competition. Because the wedding that just went down last week in Normandy just became the new standard. Such a high standard that I can’t see any other wedding this year coming remotely close. This is what I spent the weekend doing, by the way. Poring over every detail, trying to cunt on something, anything, to do with this wedding that would break the spell and it’s impossible, it’s the most exceptional and the most flawless obscene wealth wedding we’ve seen in a long, long time…
