Full post on LG here. This is the first Bennifer post since we launched The Squawk. How are we feeling about Bennifer? Are you happy the drought is over?
As someone who wasn’t old enough to be fully invested in Bennifer V1 but was still aware of the infamous music video and breakup - I am super into Bennifer V2 bc what a great redemption story! I ♥️ how they went on totally separate paths, lived their lives fully, had children with other people, only to meet again, now evolved enough to openly and shamelessly embrace their shared thirst for attention and corniness. I think it helps that JLo’s brand, empire and success has been so meteoric over the last 20 years - she’s amassed more wealth and is the savvier business person- it’s undeniable who the ‘catch’ in this relationship is (hint: it’s not him). Cynically, I wonder if things would’ve turned out like this (or happened as fast as it did) if she was less successful. Would he would have felt like he was slumming it coming back to her? Bc he definitely gets social clout for being with a POWERHOUSE woman who doesn’t need him but wants him.
Actually, JLo was always really the bigger star and business mogul even back then. She had the #1 movie and album the same week and her perfume and clothing sold like hotcakes during their origin era. She was being recognized back then for her business savvy. The amount of star power you have to have to have that all going on successfully at once is huge. Ben at that time was a hot commodity too who'd won an Oscar and dated nepo princess Gwynneth, but his star was eclipsed by hers, especially globally, even in 2003. Where Ben has grown to have more value and clout is within the film industry, which is very elitist and racist, honestly. But he has earned it because he is a gifted director. JLo does not get the same respect from that world and Ben maybe can assist her with that. So he is useful to her. LOL But, I do believe Ben would have contacted JLo even if she didn't have the wealth she has now. He wasn't hurting for money. And, they clearly kept in touch over the years that's why their reunion happened as fast as it did. I think the thing that changed for them was Ben got sober and they were finally single at the same time.
I assumed Ben’s success in the more prestigious (and to your point, very elitist and racist) film industry was considered higher caliber fame at the time. I’m so glad to hear JLo was recognized for her business savvy back then bc I totally agree she was the savvier one from Day 1, and it’s clear audiences/consumers loved her (hence the #1 movie, #1 album, perfume success) but I was under the impression the traditional entertainment industry looked down on multi-hyphenates in the early aughts? She was a trailblazer, proving how a celebrity influencer can drive multiple revenue channels in the age of social media, but that wasn’t considered a legitimate arena by big/traditional industries until well into the 2010’s. I don’t think JLo’s money influenced Ben’s decision, he doesn’t need more money. But I do wonder if her overall raised profile in the eyes of the industry helped make it an easier decision. He’s always struck me as someone who cares what other people think and yearns for acceptance - though perhaps that’s not the case, now that he’s sober.
You’re so right, Honeychild! So gross how they could besmirch JLo for seeming ‘too ethnic, ghetto, low class’ all while she was making BANK for the film and music studios.
‘It was about 20 years ago that mass pop culture was first introduced to a word that at the time was most closely associated with her: the “multihyphenate”, remember? Everyone is a multihyphenate now and, certainly, there were multihyphenates before JLo, it’s just that at the time, in the late 90s and early 2000s, she was the face attached to the term. Because she dared to do all those things, and 25 or so years later, she is still doing all those things. And she’s being celebrated for it now … which was not the case…then.
Then? Well, back then there was skepticism laced with derision, which manifested itself in how her relationship with Ben Affleck was covered when they first got together. She was an ambitious, stunning, sexy Latinx woman dating the boy from Boston who conquered Hollywood with his Hollywood best friend. The narrative was that she was controlling, that she was trying to change him, that she was a usurper, a corruptor.
Now she’s an empire, on the cover of Adweek being recognised for all her deals, partnerships, and product lines, for her ubiquity, for her appeal across generations and demographics, and for her charitable endeavours, including Limitless Labs, the philanthropic branch of her business, in support of Latinx entrepreneurs.
Now it’s Ben Affleck being quoted in the article about her power...’
Here's the key take away from what Lainey wrote, imo: "there were multihyphenates before JLo, it’s just that at the time, in the late 90s and early 2000s, she was the face attached to the term."
There you go. It was all about JLo. Hollywood wasn't against multi-hyphenates, they give out EGOTS. I was around and consumed alot of media during that time and I just don't recall a multi-hyphenate backlash in the early 2000s. Also, this was a time when business opportunities were really opening up to actresses and they were starting to get big beauty and fashion endorsement deals because supermodels were getting ushered out. I do however recall some JLo resentment for doing big things or more than they felt she was supposed to do on all fronts. Maybe someone can provide an example of another celeb criticized for being a multihyphenate because I don't recall an overall backlash like that at all. It was all about JFTB.
You're right. Ben's success during that time was seen as more prestigious among the media gatekeepers of that era. But, in reality, JLo was always the bigger global star. Her being a global music and movie star just made her better known. I would argue that music travels further than movies, especially back then when you could hear songs on the radio and watch music videos on tv. The industry has no problem with multi-hyphenates, look at one of JLo's idols Barbara Streisand. Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake had movie deals and I have no doubt if JT was a better actor/in better movies they would've gladly handed him a SAG years ago. The problem they had with JLo was her being seen by them as too ethnic, ghetto, low class. So basically, their own racism. She dated a rapper, and gasp, got arrested with him. She was flashy. She was too much for the boomer gatekeepers of the day. LOL Today, people look back and see her as a trailblazer in how she has handled her businesses away from music and movies and how she managed her social platforms. We all know Kim K saw her as a blueprint early on. As for Ben, he's an actor, of course he cares what people think. They all do. In my experience, successful men do like successful women. Success is attractive. I do think after the demise of Bennifer 1.0, they both felt the need to prove their staying power and talent. Since they have gotten back together, JLo has spoken proudly of Ben's Oscars in interviews. And, he has praised her as well. Plus, they are both Leos, they both love to flex. So there's that, too. LOL
Key takeaway: ‘And she’s being celebrated for it now … which was not the case…then. Then? Well, back then there was skepticism laced with derision’
Not sure how that reads as a good thing? But it sounds like you feel very strongly about this topic, Honeychild, and since you have clear memory of early 2000’s gossip, I’ll defer to the elder here ☺️
I am obsessed with them (well, her, but I like this intentional "she's Barbie, he's just Ken" thing they have going on in my mind at least). While I am relieved to see them out and about, I also appreciate that they can go low-key so easily. I feel like that is a good sign for the longevity of the relationship.
This is so complicated for me! I loved Bennifer 1.0 and their reunion has such a nice arc to it, like a rom com of course. But I also *love* Jennifer Garner, and I think about how much work she put in to supporting Ben’s career, most especially raising their kids and getting Ben to a healthier place for them. I feel for her, that it can’t be easy to watch her ex go on to so publicly be the loving, devoted husband to someone else.
On the other hand, maybe she’s totally unbothered! And I know it’s all in the spin, like when Ben and Jen G got married, there were all these icky stories about how JLo was wrong and inauthentic for him.
I think it's a common sentiment, especially with women, where you feel like you put all the work in and then the relationship ends and he's a more evolved partner in his next relationship and you're like... wait, don't I get credit for this?! In real life, I know women who've been through this. It can be a hard pill to swallow.
And yet, in this situation, I also know women who have lived through marriage where the third party was addiction. When you also share children, it becomes even more complicated. After the marriage ends, you still have to be invested in so many aspects of your ex's life because that's the father of your children. So when someone else comes along and the ex is happy with them - in the experiences I've seen? It's a RELIEF. You don't feel like you're the only person having to worry about this person's wellness.
I am sure she is relieved that she is no longer responsible for him but let's not kid ourselves. If he and Jlo don't make it (I am really hoping they do because she seems so happy and I want her to have what she wants) he is back to being Jen G.'s responsibility.
I always hope for not just unbothered, but happy. Because JLo is age-appropriate, a mom, known to be someone who almost never drinks and doesn’t use drugs, and has her own whole machine that can help take care of Ben. I feel like Ben was often more like a (troubled, difficult) fourth child for Jen Garner after their split, and I feel like if it were me I’d be relieved he was off my hands.
I love this response and have been thinking over why I have this ambivalent feeling, not even about OG Bennifer 2.0 (which I also love) but more about Ben. It seems clear that Jen G let her career take a back seat to support his, and she spent so much time taking care of him as a person. I guess that’s why I am happy to see her in more roles now, like she probably experienced what so many women still do, giving unequal emotional and logistical support that they don’t get back in return.
I do understand this but I also think that it sometimes goes unnoticed that Jennifer Garner has been in her own serious relationship for quite some time now. She’s been with John Miller on and off now since 2018, they’re just very low key. I’m sure that if she can move on and find happiness in a new relationship, then she wouldn’t begrudge Ben doing that too. Particularly after he had a run of seemingly rocky relationships post-divorce.
I will say that Ben has looked so healthy and in a genuinely good place for the last two years, so I’m sure she’s very grateful for that, not least for her children.
Like someone said, JGar seems fine. She has been in her own on and off relationship for 5 years. She's probably not in a rush for marriage (even though supposedly he asked her years ago) because it would be her third time down the aisle. She's probably waiting to make sure this one will last because her boyfriend is also divorced with kids. And, he's like 6 years younger than her. And, I thought I read somewhere that his divorce was kinda messy. So, yeah she is being smart and taking her time. She's been there done that twice. She may not feel the need to remarry at all.
I love seeing them, they're a very beautiful couple but I'm glad they are able to have some privacy. Not just for their sake but for the sake of their kids too.
I've been obsessed with them all along. In high school we had to make skits in french class...mine always starred at least one of them 😂. Even had a wedding for them en francais!!
Honestly, they’re boring to me! Her work ethic and longevity are quite admirable, don’t get me wrong. But that doesn’t necessarily make her very interesting… And Ben holds no appeal to me and kind of continues to seem like a bit of a butthead. I wish them well and also wish to never hear of them!
This is me! I can appreciate why they are good gossip and yet, I do not care. I don't wish them ill in any way. In fact, I wish them well. I just find them boring (which is probably a win for them, tbh).
Yes! Same. If Ben could just quietly write some awesome screenplays, direct some movies, stay clean, be a good father. And JLO - please just...stop for awhile? Her thirst is overwhelming.
Surely after everything they’ve been through, together and separately, and now being in their 50s, they will have figured out the fundamentals of how to make things work. I hope so.
I love them so much! I hope that they are able to handle all of the mess that comes with being Bennifer, which it seems like they are able to this time around. Wisdom does come with age, hopefully ☺️
I was so happy to see them get back together, for the gossip of it all, but really couldn’t care less about them as individuals or a couple. They don’t do it for me. I am, however, subscribed to on the Jlo and hate myself a little for it. 😅
For those of us who also love love and generational icons (okay, one icon and one screenwriter) being cheesy dorks.
I was low key worried they were on a break. Glad to see all is well. Bennifer is the only celeb couple I want a happily ever after for.
I was actually seriously bothered haha. I didn't realize how much until I was so relieved at seeing this post.
As someone who wasn’t old enough to be fully invested in Bennifer V1 but was still aware of the infamous music video and breakup - I am super into Bennifer V2 bc what a great redemption story! I ♥️ how they went on totally separate paths, lived their lives fully, had children with other people, only to meet again, now evolved enough to openly and shamelessly embrace their shared thirst for attention and corniness. I think it helps that JLo’s brand, empire and success has been so meteoric over the last 20 years - she’s amassed more wealth and is the savvier business person- it’s undeniable who the ‘catch’ in this relationship is (hint: it’s not him). Cynically, I wonder if things would’ve turned out like this (or happened as fast as it did) if she was less successful. Would he would have felt like he was slumming it coming back to her? Bc he definitely gets social clout for being with a POWERHOUSE woman who doesn’t need him but wants him.
Actually, JLo was always really the bigger star and business mogul even back then. She had the #1 movie and album the same week and her perfume and clothing sold like hotcakes during their origin era. She was being recognized back then for her business savvy. The amount of star power you have to have to have that all going on successfully at once is huge. Ben at that time was a hot commodity too who'd won an Oscar and dated nepo princess Gwynneth, but his star was eclipsed by hers, especially globally, even in 2003. Where Ben has grown to have more value and clout is within the film industry, which is very elitist and racist, honestly. But he has earned it because he is a gifted director. JLo does not get the same respect from that world and Ben maybe can assist her with that. So he is useful to her. LOL But, I do believe Ben would have contacted JLo even if she didn't have the wealth she has now. He wasn't hurting for money. And, they clearly kept in touch over the years that's why their reunion happened as fast as it did. I think the thing that changed for them was Ben got sober and they were finally single at the same time.
I assumed Ben’s success in the more prestigious (and to your point, very elitist and racist) film industry was considered higher caliber fame at the time. I’m so glad to hear JLo was recognized for her business savvy back then bc I totally agree she was the savvier one from Day 1, and it’s clear audiences/consumers loved her (hence the #1 movie, #1 album, perfume success) but I was under the impression the traditional entertainment industry looked down on multi-hyphenates in the early aughts? She was a trailblazer, proving how a celebrity influencer can drive multiple revenue channels in the age of social media, but that wasn’t considered a legitimate arena by big/traditional industries until well into the 2010’s. I don’t think JLo’s money influenced Ben’s decision, he doesn’t need more money. But I do wonder if her overall raised profile in the eyes of the industry helped make it an easier decision. He’s always struck me as someone who cares what other people think and yearns for acceptance - though perhaps that’s not the case, now that he’s sober.
You’re so right, Honeychild! So gross how they could besmirch JLo for seeming ‘too ethnic, ghetto, low class’ all while she was making BANK for the film and music studios.
Also, it does sound like multi-hyphenates were looked down on, to quote Lainey (https://www.laineygossip.com/jennifer-lopez-calls-herself-scarce-asset-in-adweek-cover-story-with-or-without-ben-affleck-she-has-proved-it/69424/amp):
‘It was about 20 years ago that mass pop culture was first introduced to a word that at the time was most closely associated with her: the “multihyphenate”, remember? Everyone is a multihyphenate now and, certainly, there were multihyphenates before JLo, it’s just that at the time, in the late 90s and early 2000s, she was the face attached to the term. Because she dared to do all those things, and 25 or so years later, she is still doing all those things. And she’s being celebrated for it now … which was not the case…then.
Then? Well, back then there was skepticism laced with derision, which manifested itself in how her relationship with Ben Affleck was covered when they first got together. She was an ambitious, stunning, sexy Latinx woman dating the boy from Boston who conquered Hollywood with his Hollywood best friend. The narrative was that she was controlling, that she was trying to change him, that she was a usurper, a corruptor.
Now she’s an empire, on the cover of Adweek being recognised for all her deals, partnerships, and product lines, for her ubiquity, for her appeal across generations and demographics, and for her charitable endeavours, including Limitless Labs, the philanthropic branch of her business, in support of Latinx entrepreneurs.
Now it’s Ben Affleck being quoted in the article about her power...’
Here's the key take away from what Lainey wrote, imo: "there were multihyphenates before JLo, it’s just that at the time, in the late 90s and early 2000s, she was the face attached to the term."
There you go. It was all about JLo. Hollywood wasn't against multi-hyphenates, they give out EGOTS. I was around and consumed alot of media during that time and I just don't recall a multi-hyphenate backlash in the early 2000s. Also, this was a time when business opportunities were really opening up to actresses and they were starting to get big beauty and fashion endorsement deals because supermodels were getting ushered out. I do however recall some JLo resentment for doing big things or more than they felt she was supposed to do on all fronts. Maybe someone can provide an example of another celeb criticized for being a multihyphenate because I don't recall an overall backlash like that at all. It was all about JFTB.
You're right. Ben's success during that time was seen as more prestigious among the media gatekeepers of that era. But, in reality, JLo was always the bigger global star. Her being a global music and movie star just made her better known. I would argue that music travels further than movies, especially back then when you could hear songs on the radio and watch music videos on tv. The industry has no problem with multi-hyphenates, look at one of JLo's idols Barbara Streisand. Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake had movie deals and I have no doubt if JT was a better actor/in better movies they would've gladly handed him a SAG years ago. The problem they had with JLo was her being seen by them as too ethnic, ghetto, low class. So basically, their own racism. She dated a rapper, and gasp, got arrested with him. She was flashy. She was too much for the boomer gatekeepers of the day. LOL Today, people look back and see her as a trailblazer in how she has handled her businesses away from music and movies and how she managed her social platforms. We all know Kim K saw her as a blueprint early on. As for Ben, he's an actor, of course he cares what people think. They all do. In my experience, successful men do like successful women. Success is attractive. I do think after the demise of Bennifer 1.0, they both felt the need to prove their staying power and talent. Since they have gotten back together, JLo has spoken proudly of Ben's Oscars in interviews. And, he has praised her as well. Plus, they are both Leos, they both love to flex. So there's that, too. LOL
Key takeaway: ‘And she’s being celebrated for it now … which was not the case…then. Then? Well, back then there was skepticism laced with derision’
Not sure how that reads as a good thing? But it sounds like you feel very strongly about this topic, Honeychild, and since you have clear memory of early 2000’s gossip, I’ll defer to the elder here ☺️
This post is just reminding me that I am not ready for sweater weather.
I am obsessed with them (well, her, but I like this intentional "she's Barbie, he's just Ken" thing they have going on in my mind at least). While I am relieved to see them out and about, I also appreciate that they can go low-key so easily. I feel like that is a good sign for the longevity of the relationship.
Omg I had not thought of their Barbie/Ken-ness, but this is SO true 😭
I am so here for them! The nostalgia of it all.
This is so complicated for me! I loved Bennifer 1.0 and their reunion has such a nice arc to it, like a rom com of course. But I also *love* Jennifer Garner, and I think about how much work she put in to supporting Ben’s career, most especially raising their kids and getting Ben to a healthier place for them. I feel for her, that it can’t be easy to watch her ex go on to so publicly be the loving, devoted husband to someone else.
On the other hand, maybe she’s totally unbothered! And I know it’s all in the spin, like when Ben and Jen G got married, there were all these icky stories about how JLo was wrong and inauthentic for him.
I think it's a common sentiment, especially with women, where you feel like you put all the work in and then the relationship ends and he's a more evolved partner in his next relationship and you're like... wait, don't I get credit for this?! In real life, I know women who've been through this. It can be a hard pill to swallow.
And yet, in this situation, I also know women who have lived through marriage where the third party was addiction. When you also share children, it becomes even more complicated. After the marriage ends, you still have to be invested in so many aspects of your ex's life because that's the father of your children. So when someone else comes along and the ex is happy with them - in the experiences I've seen? It's a RELIEF. You don't feel like you're the only person having to worry about this person's wellness.
I am sure she is relieved that she is no longer responsible for him but let's not kid ourselves. If he and Jlo don't make it (I am really hoping they do because she seems so happy and I want her to have what she wants) he is back to being Jen G.'s responsibility.
I always hope for not just unbothered, but happy. Because JLo is age-appropriate, a mom, known to be someone who almost never drinks and doesn’t use drugs, and has her own whole machine that can help take care of Ben. I feel like Ben was often more like a (troubled, difficult) fourth child for Jen Garner after their split, and I feel like if it were me I’d be relieved he was off my hands.
I love this response and have been thinking over why I have this ambivalent feeling, not even about OG Bennifer 2.0 (which I also love) but more about Ben. It seems clear that Jen G let her career take a back seat to support his, and she spent so much time taking care of him as a person. I guess that’s why I am happy to see her in more roles now, like she probably experienced what so many women still do, giving unequal emotional and logistical support that they don’t get back in return.
this is exactly how I feel. well-said!
I do understand this but I also think that it sometimes goes unnoticed that Jennifer Garner has been in her own serious relationship for quite some time now. She’s been with John Miller on and off now since 2018, they’re just very low key. I’m sure that if she can move on and find happiness in a new relationship, then she wouldn’t begrudge Ben doing that too. Particularly after he had a run of seemingly rocky relationships post-divorce.
I will say that Ben has looked so healthy and in a genuinely good place for the last two years, so I’m sure she’s very grateful for that, not least for her children.
Like someone said, JGar seems fine. She has been in her own on and off relationship for 5 years. She's probably not in a rush for marriage (even though supposedly he asked her years ago) because it would be her third time down the aisle. She's probably waiting to make sure this one will last because her boyfriend is also divorced with kids. And, he's like 6 years younger than her. And, I thought I read somewhere that his divorce was kinda messy. So, yeah she is being smart and taking her time. She's been there done that twice. She may not feel the need to remarry at all.
I love seeing them, they're a very beautiful couple but I'm glad they are able to have some privacy. Not just for their sake but for the sake of their kids too.
I've been obsessed with them all along. In high school we had to make skits in french class...mine always starred at least one of them 😂. Even had a wedding for them en francais!!
Honestly, they’re boring to me! Her work ethic and longevity are quite admirable, don’t get me wrong. But that doesn’t necessarily make her very interesting… And Ben holds no appeal to me and kind of continues to seem like a bit of a butthead. I wish them well and also wish to never hear of them!
This is me! I can appreciate why they are good gossip and yet, I do not care. I don't wish them ill in any way. In fact, I wish them well. I just find them boring (which is probably a win for them, tbh).
Yes! Same. If Ben could just quietly write some awesome screenplays, direct some movies, stay clean, be a good father. And JLO - please just...stop for awhile? Her thirst is overwhelming.
I missed the poll. More Bennifer, please. I LOVE it!
He was just cuddling with Jen Garner! I think something is up because these were posted the following day....
Surely after everything they’ve been through, together and separately, and now being in their 50s, they will have figured out the fundamentals of how to make things work. I hope so.
I love them so much! I hope that they are able to handle all of the mess that comes with being Bennifer, which it seems like they are able to this time around. Wisdom does come with age, hopefully ☺️
I was so happy to see them get back together, for the gossip of it all, but really couldn’t care less about them as individuals or a couple. They don’t do it for me. I am, however, subscribed to on the Jlo and hate myself a little for it. 😅
The sweaters! Both of them! Maria - are you here???