Mailbag for February 2, 2024
Embargo stress, celebrity relationships when careers ebb, Travis Kelce’s outfits, our most used emojis, and Squawking Chicken advice (sort of)
Dear Squawkers,
I mentioned last week that I was on a junket and that I was thinking of writing about the junket experience this week, but then what happened is that I got assigned to another junket. So in the last two weeks I’ve been from New York to London on an overnight and then back to Toronto, and then on Wednesday morning I left Toronto for LA and took the red-eye from LA on Thursday night back to Toronto, arriving at 7am.
You should know that I’m saying this before it’s actually happened. This was the only way to work it into the schedule – to start writing this mailbag on Wednesday afternoon, which I hate. It makes me uneasy when there’s what I consider too much time between when I write something and when it gets published. But I have to get a draft of this to Sarah on Thursday night and she has to turn around her part to Jacek by Friday morning which is one reason I can’t write this on the overnight flight back to Toronto on Thursday. The other reason is that my time on that flight will be dedicated to what we have to get up on LaineyGossip for Friday. So for those of you who are often curious about our work flow (and we appreciate the interest!), just a little inside baseball on how we produce the posts that show up here and on the main site.
As for the junket, you already know that the junket last week was for Argylle, and it went great. This week’s junket hasn’t started yet as of this writing and it will have happened by the time you read this but I still can’t talk about it because I am currently surrounded by publicists and studio marketing executives and they are terrifying and I don’t want to fuck any of this up for my show because there’s an embargo in place and I’m not really sure how broad the embargo actually is. Usually, an embargo means you can’t react to what you’ve seen or that reviews are held until a certain date. But for this film, which is an enormous film, I just heard someone tell someone else that they didn’t want a journalist talking about it or whatever until mid-February, so now I’m nervous about even mentioning that I’ve seen it and am about to talk to the cast or, rather, talked to the cast, past tense, since you’re getting this in your inbox half a day after it is supposed to happen. Jesus, am I in a time machine right now?
My point is, I can’t name the movie and I definitely can’t name the talent but maybe we can turn this into a blind, since many of you keep asking about blinds, and while we aren’t in the blind business anymore, and this isn’t really a true blind, we can still have a little fun with it? I’ve already dropped a couple of clues about the film and that should lead you to the actors but just in case, these are huge names, like it doesn’t get any bigger than this almost quartet, which is why I am stresssssing this confab, and I’m really hoping my outfit will work. Not that it will matter because one outfit will win it all, and I’m sure it won’t be mine.
There, now that that’s done, we’ll move on to your questions. And yes, when I can, The Squawk will get a full download of the proceedings. I would appreciate your good energy (even though it will have been too late because, again, you’re reading this well after I’ve wrapped) because, like, there is big pressure and expectation for this one and I am so fucking nervous that I’ll be shit.
Question from Now2023: We’ve only seen TNT’s relationship when both of them are individually at their peak. I’m worried what happens when inevitably one or both of their careers starts to ebb. What do you think will happen? We’ve seen examples of people trading up when one person is mega successful (both Elvises Austin Butler and Jacob Elordi) or even the case of Taylor breaking up with Joe when it was time for her to re-emerge. But I wonder if you have examples of celeb relationships who have navigated career ups and downs, successfully or not, when one person flames out.
Lainey’s Answer:
This is what I mean about TNT being only in act one. Rom-coms don’t end after the first act. If we’re going by rom-com formula – and of course we are because this is why we all love this show so much – then eventually their love will be tested. And, really, this isn’t just about rom-coms, this is about love, period. Anyone in love. Because love is not easy the whole way through, the vows don’t lie: for better, for worse, richer or poorer, blah blah blah.
Love is easy in act one. When the scoreboard is going your way, when everything is going your way, when there’s no turbulence, of course the “I love yous” tumble out one on top of the next. So your point about career ebbs and all that – for sure, what happens to TNT after a huge loss, after disappointment, when there’s distance, when they are literally halfway around the world from each other? The “honeymoon” phase is supposed to be the foundation, establishing a base from which to build that should withstand all the bullshit that inevitably follows. And that’s for all of us who have loved: those first six months to a year are bliss, and oftentimes your eyes and your head aren’t working all that well because you’re overwhelmed by all the fluffy stuff and the great sex, LOL.
So I don’t know what will happen when the love haze wears off for TNT. I think that’s why I keep telling myself, and the rest of you, not to rush through this rom-com, reminding all of us that this, really, is just act one!
As for examples of celebrity relationships that have navigated the ups and downs, I mean I have to start with Beyoncé and Jay-Z here. You talked about one person flaming out but in the Carters’ case, they flamed up, these are two people at the top, the fucking TOP. Jay’s name is mentioned in every conversation about the greatest rappers of all time, he’s in the Rock Hall, ffs, he’s a huge deal. But he’s married to the artist who is widely considered—by other artists!—to be the biggest deal. On top of that, consider what each of them, as individuals, means to their communities. Let’s revisit this quote by Dee Lockett that was initially brought to my attention by Kathleen back in 2016:
“[Black] love is always political, it has no choice. When it fails, it’s a failure for all Black lovers.”
You remember what happened in 2016, right? Lemonade. Lemonade was SO MUCH, it was everything, it was Beyoncé laid bare in service of Black women, of Black love. It was Beyoncé sharing with the world, through art, her heartache, her pain, and her redemption. Those lyrics in “All Night” are pretty much the answer to your question:
“Boy, nothing real can be threatened
True love breathes salvation back into me
With every tear came redemption
And my torturer became my remedy”
You asked for an example of a couple navigating the ups and the downs. If you want to get real on the nose about it, Beyoncé and Jay-Z navigated that elevator. And I could write another thousand words about what the Obamas have had to navigate (Michelle wrote a whole ass book about it, which is SO fucking good, I really have to reread it again).
Really quickly though, here are some more. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick? We probably don’t study this enough. He was way more famous than her when they were younger. And then, when they were in their 30s, Sex and The City. She became SO famous. We don’t really know what they experienced during that decade, and the kind of pressure that I’m sure they had to handle and push through to make it, but they did.
And the Beckhams! We just got a documentary that gave us some insight into what the lows were like for the Beckhams and look at them now – approaching their 25th wedding anniversary having survived pop stardom, football stardom and retirement, the British tabloids, and the fashion industry.
You know who I often think about but also don’t think enough about when we talk about celebrity relationships? Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. They were fame-comparable during I Know What You Did Last Summer but Buffy also started around the same time, and then during Buffy she went on to make Cruel Intentions. He had a hit with She’s All That the same year, but it kinda slowed down for him after that. It slowed down for him before it slowed down for her, and while they eventually sought out a different path for themselves individually, career-wise, the fact that they were equally so famous and so young and married young (in 2002) and are still part of Hollywood but not at the nucleus but are by all accounts going strong… it’s a win for sure.
And finally, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling. Ryan is indisputably the more famous of the two, and Eva has stepped away from acting since their children were born, and now it’s been over a decade since the two have been together. We’ve already talked about how they make it work and the fact that they refuse to share their relationship with the public. I wonder though if one of the (many) reasons they keep it to so private is because of the shit that they had to get through at the beginning. When Ryan and Eva fell in love, there were a LOT of people who weren’t happy about. You might think I’m exaggerating but I know this, because I had to read about it in my inbox.
It might feel right now like TNT are the past, present, and the future but do not let the passage of time diminish the cultural chokehold of The Notebook. When Allie and Noah became Rachel and Ryan for real, people held on to that for a long, long, LONG time. They were Bella and Edward before Kristen and Rob. So there were a lot of feelings, negative ones, about Ryan and Eva, directed towards Eva, of course. The only upside of that situation is that it happened before social media became what is now. Ryan and Eva. Those two have been through it!
Ashley I’d love to chat about Travis Kelce’s outfits and how the Swifties are comparing them to Taylor’s themes (reputation, allegedly when he got off the plane yesterday), and the week before with the anti-hero look. Do we think his style really is reflecting her or is everyone just way too down the rabbit hole looking for Easter eggs in her new boyfriend?
Sarah’s answer:
I am terrified of Swifties, at the same time, they have too much time on their hands. I know Taylor puts Easter eggs into her songs and videos, but not every fit is a secret message. I do think, though, that they’re complimentary dressers. They’re both outfit girls (boys can be outfit girls, too). If people are finding Easter eggs in Travis’s outfits, I think it’s a function of this being a couple made up of people who consider what they wear. Neither of them is just tossing on clothes at random. It’s a presentation every time they step out the door. I can’t remember the last time Taylor dated a man who cared about clothes and dressing as much as Travis Kelce does. Maybe never? He’s the first?
Also, who will be the first designer to invite Travis to sit front row at a runway show? My money is on D&G.
Question from Myra: At the Actress THR round table they asked what their most-used emoji was and I found it surprisingly insightful! I could imagine what it’d be like texting them. Can the LG team share theirs? Greta: 🤯 Emma: 🫠 Margot: 😎 Annette: 🤷♀️ Lily: ✨ Carey: didn’t mention hers
Lainey’s Answer:
I don’t use emojis. Ever. Jacek might chime in here to confirm because he does actually use emojis but he has never received one from his wife. The closest I come to using emojis is what Apple calls a “tapback” and I don’t think those are considered emojis since, well, they have their own name. The Washington Post did a piece on tapbacks that made me laugh because this is basically me with Jacek and Emily. They’ll share something they feel is important and all they get back from me is just a tapback, not even a proper emoji.
I use tapbacks for efficiency and that, I think, is the difference. Like my understanding with emojis, and thus the purpose of your question, is that they’re chosen with care or at least some thought; they can reflect personality, mood; as you suggest, they can be insightful. There’s nothing profound in a tapback. There’s not that much to be read into them.
Maybe that’s the takeaway then? Since I don’t use emojis and only tapback, maybe what that says about me is that…I’m a rude fucking bitch? And probably pretentious? Here’s the reason I don’t use emojis – and I know, it’s an eyeroll. But if I have something to say, and I want to respond, I prefer to use words. You can tell me to go fuck myself now.
Jacek’s Answer:
Before I even finished reading the first paragraph of that answer my mind immediately went to NO, Lainey hasn’t used an emoji in her life, but that she also over-uses tap-backs - to the point where even her closest friends often wonder if she’s semi-ghosting them or why she’s so unresponsive. Sasha has developed a complex about how unresponsive Lainey is but I’ve assured her it’s not just her, it’s ALL OF US. Lainey legitimately saves time with a “100%”, “HAHAHA”, or “!!” because she’s constantly scrambling. It’s nothing personal.
Added note: But oddly, she’s one of the last remaining people on earth to not turn off read notifications in iMessage - like, if you’re going to be so sparing and evasive with your responses, just turn off the goddamn read receipts so people don’t wonder why you haven’t read their text (but she has, she just doesn’t show it until/if she has time to reply). Right?
Sarah’s answer:
I use the thumb’s up a lot because it says, “I’ve seen this but have no further comment.” I also like classic text emoticons. I feel very few things are as intrinsically expressive as: :/
Have you ever met someone who develops emojis? I have! They’re very intense and passionate about creating a language that doesn’t rely on written words. In a way, we’re going back to the days of hieroglyphics. The emoji people, they want it to be recognized as a language, one that can bridge any traditional language barrier. I actually heard one of them say: “Imagine someday, we’ll have a peace accord written in emojis.”
:/
Question from Rebekah: This question is for Lainey: I know you will go into this on the site (as you always do and I appreciate!) but I am curious as the Lunar New Year approaches what your ma thinks of your decision to change up your work life and the launch of The Squawk! Did she advise you in any way?
Lainey’s Answer:
She did not advise me because I did not tell her until I’d already decided to leave The Social. And as for The Squawk, we only told her after we launched it, and the launch went well. Not to bring the mood down but, like, have any of you had the experience yet of when you’ve reached the limit of what your parents can really understand of your work and all the complicated layers of perspective that go into how you manage your career? My parents can barely figure out WhatsApp, there is no way they can grasp Substack and all the platforms of communication we have now. I find it incredibly sad, so I try not to dwell on it too much, but at some point, it just happens without us realising – the world becomes bigger, and our parents get smaller and they transition from being our guardians to the ones we have to guard.
I am especially aware of this right now, as we approach Lunar New Year, because it’s the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one. On the bright side, I am grateful that they are still with us as we enter the Year of the Dragon. I am grateful that she’s already been barking down the phone at me about all the plans and the dinners and what she’s making. And here and there she’s also been passing on some random tips about the year to come – like I should wear more red during Dragon year because that will be my colour and Jacek should be in blues and greens. There is no specific career advice though. The closest we get to career advice these days is “this is not a good year to invest” or “make sure you don’t get swindled this year by a woman” which, by the way, is what she told Jacek last year, and maybe the year before too? Now that I think about it… does she think Jacek is susceptible to catfishing?
I’ll have some more thoughts on Lunar New Year next week. Until then, thanks as always for making this community what it’s become. The comment sections have been hilarious and entertaining and SO informative. I get so excited every day to see what you’re all squawking about and chiming in on. Can’t wait for next week, after the Grammys and as we approach the big event the weekend after which, for me, is not so much about a game but… the Year of the Dragon!
Keep squawking, keep gossiping,
Lainey and Sarah
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"The world becomes bigger, and our parents get smaller and they transition from being our guardians to the ones we have to guard." Oh, how this resonates. And beautifully said too.