Mailbag for July 5, 2024
Stop disrespecting the Bridgerton artform, interviewing Celine Dion, on Squawking LG posts, appreciating your support, and a Bridgerton giveaway!
Dearest Gentle Squawkers,
Today’s mailbag is about intimacy and irritation. Intimacy is at the heart of Bridgerton and I am irritated that there are people out there who still think that intimacy is simply physical, a primitive biological activity that only requires plums and folds, balls and sticks.
Ah fuck it, I’m not writing in Regency style, not when I’m in the mood to bitch. What I’m bitching about is the story that made headlines this week about the tryhards who’ve been cold-auditioning for Bridgerton. The show’s casting director, Kelly Valentine Hendry, was on the Should I Delete That podcast recently and said that she’s always getting bombed by emails from fans who are desperate to be part of the ton. Per Variety:
“It’s every day … I get the most unbelievable videos, unsolicited,” Hendry said. “It’s sex basically. It’s not actual sex but it’s quite punchy. It’s not nude pictures, but not far off.
According to the casting director, her inbox is always “90 percent” full of emails from fans seeking a part on “Bridgerton.”
“It’s a bit sad, really, I don’t understand it,” Hendry said.
That’s it, that should be the story. It IS sad, the end. What’s frustrating is what happens next in the Variety article – this is the sentence that follows Kelly’s comments:
“Given “Bridgerton” is known for its steamy sex scenes, it’s not too shocking to hear some fans think an X-rated audition tape would be their ticket to land a role on the show.”
To be clear, those are not Kelly’s words, that’s the editorialising on Variety’s part and the source of my grumpiness because the way that sentence reads, it’s rationalising the behaviour of these people who are sending in these videos – when there should be no rationalisation. Kelly’s statement on the matter took care of it: that it is sad and not something to be understood or justified.
I’m not saying this out of propriety, this has nothing to do with whether or not it’s appropriate to send complete strangers aggressively suggestive videos. It is, however, a defence of the romantic artform. And these people are disrespecting that artform. Because if they call themselves romance fans, they should know better than to assume that a video of them panting on camera or heaving their bosoms or whatever would be enough to get them a role on a show about intimacy.
The “steamy sex scenes” are effective on Bridgerton, and any other series or film that does romance well, is because of what happens BEFORE the steamy sex scenes. This requires good writing, good directing, and good acting. They first have to make us believe they spark at a ball, fully clothed, while performing those hilariously chaste dances. It’s the eye contact, the way they moderate their voices when they speak to each other, the words they choose when they’re conversing, the music that is swelling or descending in the background, the lighting that’s hitting the skin on their cheekbones or their bare shoulders just so…
This is WORK, motherfuckers. It’s planning and choreography and rehearsal and discussion – that’s the goddamn foreplay, an essential part of intimacy, both emotional and physical, preceding the actual boning. So the fans who are sending in their cheap thrill videos to the casting director? They’re basically the kind of people who skip foreplay and proceed straight to dick thrusting into dryness (I’m leaving lesbians out of this because THEY KNOW BETTER). In other words, for all their confidence about their sexiness, that they would be perfect for whatever part they’re auditioning for, it is the exact opposite: they have failed.
Now we need to change up the mood. So let me play you a song that’s much more sex positive – currently my favourite track on Megan Thee Stallion’s new album Megan, “Down Stairs DJ”.
Let’s get to some questions!
Question from several Squawkers: Tell us about interviewing Celine Dion.
Lainey’s Answer:
My executive producer told me back in May that there was the possibility of flying me to New York for the premiere of I Am: Celine Dion and it was so overwhelming to me that I kinda ignored it, didn’t think about it, wouldn’t let myself believe it would happen so as to not be disappointed if it didn’t. Jacek will tell you I’m pretty good at compartmentalising, switching my brain off and refocusing elsewhere, and this skill was useful for Celine. I’m telling you this because it came together late and quickly. I don’t think I had my flight info until maybe four days before I left? Which means I wasn’t stressing about it for weeks, which also means I wasn’t overpreparing. And if you read LaineyGossip and the Squawk, you might wonder why I’m downplaying preparation when Show Your Work is one of my favourite themes but in Celine’s case, I’ve been studying her forever, so unconsciously I think I knew that instinct was the way to approach this interview. Actually no, that’s incomplete. It was instinct informed by experience, let’s never discredit the work.
The interview with Celine was happening on the red carpet, before the screening. The screening was supposed to start at 8pm. We were in position by 6pm, with Celine expected to arrive around 7pm. It wasn’t a long carpet, the PR team was pretty selective about the outlets invited to the premiere, so initially we thought we’d get three or four questions each. But then they started running behind, so she didn’t start her interviews until maybe 7:15pm and at that point a publicist came around and told us all, “Just one question, you get just one question” because of course she’s a long talker. A queen with that many feelings is never short on putting her feelings into words, so the assurance from the publicist was that with just one question we’d all get what we need because she would elaborate.
So then the challenge became… what is my one question?
I was fifth on the press line and when you’re standing in a press line waiting to interview a celebrity, you can hear what everyone else is asking and what the answers are. Paying attention to that is critical on the job because it tells you what mood the celebrity is in, what questions maybe to avoid, what words or themes they respond to. It’s active listening and thinking on the spot, and at least for me, I’m constantly mentally editing while I’m eavesdropping on those conversations.
The reporters in front of me chose to ask about the disease and about her singing again and why she wanted to film herself during such a vulnerable time. She was thoughtful with all of them, explaining in detail her experience and her purpose. But none of them really engaged with her as fans. Which… most of the time… you’re not supposed to. Objectivity and all that, right? Celine, however, is different. In the trailer for the film, and in interviews that had come out prior to the premiere, she talked about her fans, she talked about what it means to her that people pay money, a lot of money, to come to see her. Remember, this woman is a diva gladiator! They built the Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas for her and she reigned there FOR 16 YEARS – “are you not entertained?” should really be HER motto. When she says she misses her fans, she fucking means it.
So in that moment, I decided that my one question would be a fan question. After all, I had brought my Celine merch with me – a sweatshirt from her Courage tour draped on the stanchion. Which I pointed to the minute she approached, to signal to her that I was a member of the club. And then I doubled down on that by reciting her own lyrics to her:
“Don’t surrender
‘Cause you can win”
Corny? Yes. Corny AS FUCK. But you know who I was talking to, right? If there’s ever a moment to be corny, it’s in the presence of the planet’s most beloved cheeseball. That song has saved me through some of the most desperate times in my life – her love has powered me through actual personal turmoil and innocuous self-inflicted turmoil, as in on the treadmill at the end of a sprint. I’m sure I’m not alone, I’m sure she’s done this for countless people, and many of you reading this. So I wanted to know… who does that for her?
It was the right question. Not trying to give myself too much credit here but it felt like this was the question she was waiting for. Her eyes, it was like the Queen of All Feelings was transmitting all her feelings from her eyes through my eyes and into my soul. I could feel her feelings! I don’t care if this sounds crazy, I felt what I felt! She was telling me about being a mother and her kids, and the love was just pouring out of her and washing all over me, like comfort, like all the times her songs have comforted me through disappointment and failure and self-loathing, so it only felt right in that moment of connection to go for a second question. “What can we do for you?”
Yes, I cried. Excuse me, but Celine was tearing up right in my face and then she touched me with BOTH HANDS, of course I cried! Crying is the only acceptable reaction! I mean, I cringe a little at how many times I said “thank you” to her but also, do I really need to be embarrassed about thanking Celine Dion too much?!
Anyway, Celine spent a whole hour on that carpet, giving all the reporters what they came for and she gave the fans what they came for when she opened and closed the screening, meaning she stayed for the whole thing instead of peaceing out at the first opportunity. She’s the fucking best. The best, the best, the best. The Queen of All Feelings and an actual angel. PROTECT CELINE DION, forever and ever!
Question from Kristin: A little show your work question - how do you decide which stories on LG get a Squawk post? Some I see understand immediate (Bennifer, TNT) but for not as "hot" gossip or analysis - what makes you decide to Squawk about that?
Lainey’s Answer:
With Bennifer and TNT, I try not to post daily threads about them too much. I mean, sure, when it’s called for, when something quite newsworthy happens, of course they’re going to be the option. But we definitely want to maintain a balance. There’s no formula for it, but I try to go on mood. Sometimes, if it’s been a heavy week, the intention will be to pick a fun story to post to keep it light and give subscribers some good gossip energy. But there are also days, like today (I’m writing this on Wednesday night), where I personally really respond to a given post – and that’s why I chose Stephanie’s piece on Meghan Thee Stallion. Because I want to talk about it more. She brought in so many interesting ideas in her article, about how Meg has been treated, about how she has overcome so much fuckery, but also about Shannon Sharpe and Club Shay Shay’s expansion into the podcast space. He’s an emerging star in celebrity media. And if there’s money to be spent on podcasts and shows like this with so much potential…how much of it will he see? On the chat thread, Nada T posited that he could eventually get to Howard Stern’s level, and it’s a great point. But also, as a Black man, will he receive the same deals? All of this, to me, amounts to the kind of conversation – celebrity/media/money/culture – that we want to study here at The Squawk.
Question from Kate: How could someone help LG MORE? I love LG - so much so that you are the only ones I keep my cookies on for 😂 - and it's been my fave site on the entire internet since Twilight days (how was that 16 years ago?!) - but I am willing to and lucky enough to be able to contribute more. Some of the podcasts I listen to have tip jars - could something like that be set up? Long live supporting good gossip!
Lainey’s Answer:
Kate, your question made me emotional! I’m so grateful already that you’re here and that you care and that you want to help and I never, ever want to ask for more and make it seem like we don’t appreciate it enough. The truth is, and we’ve addressed it a few times in previous mailbags, it’s volatile for independent publishers like us. Our entire team works really hard to produce interesting articles, to focus on writing, ideas, constructive conversation. We aren’t afraid of too many words, we don’t chase speed and clicks and follows and shares at the expense of quality. And without sounding like we’re feeling too sorry for ourselves, yes, it is frustrating that challenges to our way of work seem to keep mounting. But… we’re also managing OK, for now, and most importantly we enjoy what we do, it’s fulfilling creatively, and we are so proud of this community!
So to answer your question, if there is one thing we can ask, it would be this: the Squawk is approaching its first anniversary soon, in September. This is when people who have an annual paid subscription will receive their renewal notices. We understand from others on Substack that it’s a critical time and in the interest of transparency, we’re a bit nervous about that. So we very much hope that those of you with annual paid subscriptions have enjoyed what we’re doing here and will renew at that time. That would mean so much to us. And if it’s OK, we’ll remind you again when we’re closer to that deadline? THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.
Now, finally, let’s go back to Bridgerton because we have something to give back to you. It’s time for more free shit! Sarah started this a few months ago when she gave away the award season swag she was getting sent by the studios promoting their titles. Now it’s my turn with TWO (2) Bridgerton sets from Netflix. The photo is below, and each set includes:
- Bridgerton Bath & Body Works “Diamond of the Season” Body Cream with Shea Butter and Hyaluronic Acid
- Bridgerton Bath & Body Works “Diamond of the Season” Gentle & Clean Foaming Hand Soap
- Bridgerton “Colin & Penelope” Ginger Peach Vanilla Tea from the Republic of Tea
- Bridgerton White Honey for Tea from The Republic of Tea
- Bridgerton Playing Cards (“a booklet full of gossip and scandal”)
This giveaway is open to all paid subscribers as of three days from now, July 8, 2024. The winners will be randomly drawn from our list of paid subscribers at the time. You don’t need to do anything to enter (other than converting to a paid subscription if you haven’t done so already), and we’ll reach out directly if you’re drawn. We also aren’t sharing anything with Netflix for this. It’s just stuff we have on hand that we want to share with you.
Thank you so much for supporting the Squawk!
Keep squawking and keep gossiping,
Lainey
Just here to offer too much information to strangers on the internet as I'm crouched low behind my computer screen so the 17yo Intern doesn't see my crying ass but I think why I love Celine so much is she's a counterpoint to all the ways I've repressed myself (it's no big deal, nothing to be upset over, don't gloat) she is the graceful expression, of course. Real Self acceptance. Of course I feel this way, of course I feel it fully with every cell of my being, of course I honour the way my experiences manifest through emotion. Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
Just gonna go clear out the paper towel fibres from my red eyes. Happy Friday!
We've been here Squawking for almost a YEAR??!?! If feels like both a week or two AND a decade+, but not a year!