I completely get the guilt. At 40, I was at the height of my teaching career and in the process of completing my MA thesis for a potential move into human resources. I chaired many committees and ran many clubs - in addition to an extensive commitment with the local theatre community. I was the embodiment of hustle culture. Sleep was for…
I completely get the guilt. At 40, I was at the height of my teaching career and in the process of completing my MA thesis for a potential move into human resources. I chaired many committees and ran many clubs - in addition to an extensive commitment with the local theatre community. I was the embodiment of hustle culture. Sleep was for the weak!
Then. Something happened.
I got sick. Really really sick. In what seemed to happen in a New York minute, I was physically and mentally shattered. My entire world stopped as my health demanded her time. I ended up on a teaching leave and all other commitments rapidly ceased. 7 months later, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It was bad. My neurologist posited that I had likely been living with MS for about 5 years. Upon reflection, I could account for many instances when I ignored warning signs. I was too busy!
It’s been 7 years of living with aggressive MS. My life has followed a different path, and I’ve learned to embrace this. What I can tell you (or anyone else experiencing guilt)? You’re not as indispensable as you may think. Remarkably, as my health forcefully removed me from all of my important jobs and tasks, I was somewhat astounded to note that the wild world kept turning. New people stepped in and stepped up to fill the void of me. Certainly, I was missed. . .but life moves on at a rapid pace. If there is a lesson in my health journey, it’s to remind women to prioritize their wellness (not in some insipid Goop manner). Sometimes, wellness is simply saying no. Without explanation. Without caveats. Without guilt.
I completely get the guilt. At 40, I was at the height of my teaching career and in the process of completing my MA thesis for a potential move into human resources. I chaired many committees and ran many clubs - in addition to an extensive commitment with the local theatre community. I was the embodiment of hustle culture. Sleep was for the weak!
Then. Something happened.
I got sick. Really really sick. In what seemed to happen in a New York minute, I was physically and mentally shattered. My entire world stopped as my health demanded her time. I ended up on a teaching leave and all other commitments rapidly ceased. 7 months later, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It was bad. My neurologist posited that I had likely been living with MS for about 5 years. Upon reflection, I could account for many instances when I ignored warning signs. I was too busy!
It’s been 7 years of living with aggressive MS. My life has followed a different path, and I’ve learned to embrace this. What I can tell you (or anyone else experiencing guilt)? You’re not as indispensable as you may think. Remarkably, as my health forcefully removed me from all of my important jobs and tasks, I was somewhat astounded to note that the wild world kept turning. New people stepped in and stepped up to fill the void of me. Certainly, I was missed. . .but life moves on at a rapid pace. If there is a lesson in my health journey, it’s to remind women to prioritize their wellness (not in some insipid Goop manner). Sometimes, wellness is simply saying no. Without explanation. Without caveats. Without guilt.
Believe me, you’re worth it.⭐️
Thank you for sharing your story Kathryn and I hope your health is as good as it can be! 💜